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  “Let’s go to bed.” Gavin gets up from the couch, grabbing my hand.

  We walk to the master bedroom. He has a king-sized four-poster bed and a sixty-inch television. A bedroom meant for a bachelor. I can imagine Gavin jerking off to porn in front of that television. It would be a gorgeous sight, no doubt. I start to laugh because I’m so fucked up in the head sometimes, and alcohol doesn’t help.

  “Why are you laughing?”

  I laugh harder, losing my breath, and my eyes leak a little bit of water. I attempt to get myself together and breathe at a regular pace. “I was laughing because I was imagining you watching porn and jerking off in here. This bedroom is definitely meant for a young single man such as yourself.”

  Gavin pulls me closer to him. “I have an excellent idea. I think maybe we could practice making porn ourselves, minus the camera. We would be doing this room a disservice if we didn’t use it in that manner. You game?”

  I nod. He walks me back to the bed and pulls my little black dress over my head. He drops it to the floor, apparently not realizing it’s a thousand-dollar dress. Any other time I would have gone off, but at this moment I am grateful I have a lovely Victoria’s Secret lingerie set on. I am wearing a black lace push-up bra. Even though my bra size is a 34D and my breasts are perky, lifting them a little higher never hurt anyone. I work out; my body isn’t something to complain about. Gavin looks at me, apparently speechless.

  I start to move my hands to cover myself, and Gavin stops them. “Fuck, Jamie...you are beautiful. A piece of fine art. Exquisite. I could stare at you all day long.” He moves closer to me; my breathing becomes shallow. He circles my left breast, massaging my nipple into a hard point. He puts his mouth on my breast, licking my nipple in a teasing manner, while his hand does the same thing to the other breast. I’m so turned on I’m on the verge of asking him to fuck me.

  “Please, Gavin,” I say.

  “We have all night. I want to enjoy every inch of your body.” Gavin lays me down on the bed. He starts to kiss my neck and continues to move down my body. He stops right before the place I want him the most. He works his way back up my body and kisses me like this is his last day on earth. I feel everything in that kiss; if I’m honest it scares me shitless. I have never felt that much emotion in a kiss. “Jamie, fuck...look at me.” It takes everything I have in me. He kisses me again, a kiss that consumes everything we have between us at that moment.

  Gavin kisses my neck, getting me wholly lost in the moment. He slides his finger into my vagina. “Jamie, you're soaking wet.” He smears my wetness over my lips before circling my clit. He circles it faster, almost bringing me to the point of orgasm, but he suddenly stops. He puts his finger in my mouth and I lick it clean, hoping he will get the hint to lick me clean. “Jamie, I want to taste you. You are going to be a good little girl, and you are going to take every bit I give you.” I nod. Gavin kisses his way back down to the motherland. Honestly, it is not soon enough.

  Gavin eats pussy like he works for the other team. Apparently, he has been watching porn on this big-ass television. Gavin feasts on me like I’m his last supper. It doesn’t take long before my orgasm starts. Gavin is licking my clit like he is working on the alphabet. Every lick feels like a letter of the alphabet. I will have to ask him about it later. I try to move my legs closer together; it feels like too much. Gavin clutches my legs. “Jamie, stop. Let this happen, don’t fight me on this.” Of course the fucker can read my mind. The orgasm I’m about to have is going to be epic. The feeling comes on stronger. I can’t fight it any longer. “Fuck, Gavin. I’m getting ready to cum. Gavin...Gavin...Gavin,” I say in a voice I’ve never heard coming out of me. The orgasm rips through me. I shout, “Gavin!” I just had the most powerful orgasm of my entire life. I’m utterly speechless at this moment. Gavin kisses me so I can taste myself.

  “I need a minute.”

  “I bet you do after that orgasm.” Gavin gets up and goes into the bathroom adjoining the bedroom. He comes back with a towel and places it under me. “You know you squirted, don’t you?” I am mortified and impressed at the same time. I admit I’ve always wanted to be a squirter; I just wanted to do it on my terms. There is no way I’m going to tell him that he gave me the best orgasm of my entire life. There is no way I can give him that power over me.

  Gavin stands at the end of the bed, and I realize he still has his clothes on. “I think we have a problem here, Mr. Rodgers. I need you naked, like yesterday.” He smiles at me; a megawatt smile I could quickly fall in love with. He removes his shoes, and even his tanned feet are sexy. I by no means consider myself a foot person; maybe it is the alcohol. Fuck, I hope so. He removes his white dress shirt, revealing his muscular chest and abs. I can’t wait to run my hands down his body. My mouth is watering in anticipation of the experience ahead. The next to come off is his dress pants. Gavin is a boxer brief type of guy; his hard cock is practically coming out of his underwear. He removes his underwear; his cock is massive and in charge. I am ready for Gavin to pound into me like there is no tomorrow.

  Gavin climbs back into bed and pulls me to his chest. I kiss down his neck. I run my hands down his chest and abs, getting lost in the feeling of every muscle and ridge in his upper body. As I move my hand toward his cock, I feel like a kid in a candy store. I can’t get to it soon enough. My mouth waters.

  Gavin continues to lie beside me with his eyes closed. My hands finally reach their destination. Disappointment awaits me. His cock is completely soft. Damn, a few minutes ago it was ready for action.

  I can take the situation into my own hands...literally. I work up and down his length and suck on his left nipple. A few minutes later, nothing has changed. I can’t accept failure, so I put oral into motion. I suck his cock and use my hand at the same time. I’m no expert, but this should get the job done. I look up at Gavin, and his eyes are closed. I think he is taking everything in, enjoying my oral treatment. I change my methods to get another reaction. Gavin’s dick remains in a flaccid state, and I’m now more embarrassed than ever. I have never had guys complain about my oral skills, and I can’t think of a time when a cock didn’t get hard.

  I kiss my way up to Gavin’s neck, and then it hits me. That fucker is asleep. He got whiskey dick and fell asleep. I feel like a fuck-up more than ever. I have never had a man fall asleep on me. I need to get out of here; according to the clock it is 4:23 a.m. But it’s too early to call an Uber. I pray I can get out of here before he gets up.

  I roll to my side, facing away from Gavin. He begins to stir; maybe he will initiate sex. Gavin pulls me back to his chest and holds me close like I’m precious cargo. He begins to snore softly in my ear. I lie there trying to drift off to sleep, hoping I can escape in the morning without waking him up.

  I drift off to sleep but only briefly. My phone is going off; I can hear it vibrating in the next room. It is six-thirty in the morning. Regan probably thinks I’m on duty this morning and is making sure I’m up for work. When I decided to go out with the girls last night, I switched my shift so I could rest after a night on the town. But I have never been more grateful for a wake-up call. Gavin appears to be in a deep sleep, and I am embarrassed about the prior night events. I grab my dress, bra, and G-string and make a quick dash out of the bedroom.

  I answer the phone and explain the situation to Regan. I put my clothes on during our conversation, wasting no time. I will call Regan later and discuss it at greater length. Right now, my objective is getting out of this house. Regan is in no shape to drive, since she didn’t sleep well, so I contact an Uber. They will arrive in the next twenty minutes. I want to leave Gavin a note, but what would I say? The situation is awkward at best. I decide to do what I do best, running without any explanation. After all, I learned it from my parents.

  The Uber arrives on time, and I lock Gavin’s door as I leave his house. On the ride home, I mentally criticize myself for the shitty choices I continue to make. I am a grown woman who can’t cope with shit. I n
eed a strategy for dealing with Gavin, as I expect to see him in the emergency room. Unfortunately, at this hour, with a hangover, no viable options are coming to me.

  Thirty minutes later, I arrive home. My bed is a beautiful sight. I climb into bed thanking Gavin Rodgers for the best orgasm of my entire life.

  Chapter 2

  I look at the anger management paper Erin gave me. Due to a staffing shortage in the E.R., my mandated anger management training had been postponed, which was definitely a blessing. But the charge nurse told me my luck has run out. Damn those new hires. My problem at the moment is that I want to cuss her out.

  I have two days before the first anger management session, so I need a distraction. I have been spending time with Chris Thomas, a firefighter who works with Grayson. Grayson has been helping Regan deal with the loss of Jake, and he recently admitted he is in love with her. I couldn’t be happier for my best friend. Jake’s death put her through hell. Imagine not only finding out that the love of your life died, but learning that he cheated on you and made a baby with the whore. Regan deserves the moon and stars. But I consider myself unworthy of a happily ever after. I don’t believe in a Cinderella story. My life is about fun; I don’t expect anything different.

  Chris Thomas is the perfect distraction. He reminds me of a frat boy; he’s just a late twenties version. Chris and I have a mutual understanding. We fuck and leave it at that. In other words, at the end of the day, we are basically fuck buddies. No expectations. We have a good time and go our separate ways. We can see and fuck whoever else we want; the only rule is we use protection. I like my sexual freedom.

  Chris and I have been “seeing” each other for the last six months. Chris is the only guy I have been with since I was with Gavin. My focus has been on Regan. Therefore the four of us have been hanging out. The sex between Chris and me, on a scale of one to ten, is a six. The problem is Gavin gave me the best orgasm of my entire life, and I keep looking for another experience that measures up.

  I text Chris, hoping he is not working at the fire station today. He responds, letting me know he gets off at 6:30 p.m. I text him back, telling him I’m ready to get “off” right now. I know that will get his attention. Of course his response is a picture of his cock. I’m not sexting him. If I did that, any pissed-off guy could have me joining the unemployment line in a hot minute.

  We decide to have a beer night and play some cards. Cheap, fun entertainment at its best. I will invite Regan, and Chris will ask Grayson at work.

  I call Regan. “Hey, Hooker Princess...what’s up?”

  “I’m organizing my closet.”

  I roll my eyes. If Regan is organizing, it means something is on her mind. “Why? Regan, you just did that less than two weeks ago.”

  “James...nothing is wrong.” She calls me James, giving me a loving nickname. I allow her to get away with it because she is so important in my life. “I’m trying to add some space for Grayson. He spends a few nights a week here.”

  I smile because I can hear the happiness in my best friend’s voice. “I’m so happy for you, Regan, you deserve it. You guys are so perfect for each other. Before you know it, he will be putting a ring on it.”

  “Now that is too much too soon.”

  “Whatever you say, Regan. I was calling for a purpose. I wanted to invite you and your man over to play cards and drink some beer tonight. Chris is talking it over with Grayson as we speak.”

  “I’m down to play some cards. I’m telling you now that we are on the same team. Sometimes I think you can count cards. Let’s bring the card party to my house, your house is still not lived in yet.”

  “OK...sounds like a plan. I will have Chris pick me up so I can drink tonight.” Just as I’m getting ready to end the call, Regan brings the conversation to a halt. “James...when are we going to talk about Gavin and the anger management group you have been mandated to attend?”

  “Girl, you know how to kill a conversation.”

  “Jamie, you know better than to pretend this isn’t happening. I know every time Gavin is in the emergency room, you run in another direction. I know you have had plenty of one-night stands, so that isn’t really the issue. What’s the deal, pickle?”

  “I had the best orgasm of my entire life, Regan. I even squirted. After all that happens, he gets whiskey dick and falls asleep. I don’t know how to handle it. He doesn’t even seem fazed by it when he’s around me, the only thing I want to do is run away.”

  Regan laughs.

  ”It’s not funny.”

  “Jamie, this shit only happens to you. Now you get the opportunity to spend five weeks with Gavin. Learning to control your anger, looking at the beautiful specimen of a man who gave you the best orgasm of your entire life.” Regan continues to laugh, and my agitation is growing by the minute. “Seriously, Jamie, let me put it to you this way. I need you in that E.R. I can’t be left there working with those heifers Madison and McKenzie. I think this is going to be good for you. I’m not talking about the anger management part, but spending time with Gavin. James, you can’t run away. It’s time to face the music, put on your big girl pants. Now, being the BFF that I am, I will help you distract yourself by drinking yourself silly tonight.

  “Thanks, make sure you have enough wine for this evening. The guys will bring the beer for themselves.”

  I have a few hours before we get together tonight; maybe I can work on this apartment. Looking around, I have no motivation. My apartment is a hot mess, and if I don’t deal with it soon, Regan will be putting it together. Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing. But my wardrobe is put together, and my expensive pieces of clothing can’t live in chaos. I consider my clothing an absolute treasure, and they should be treated accordingly. I sit down and make a to-do list: 1. Apartment. 2. Grocery Store 3. Laundry 4. Car Wash. 5. Pay Bills. As soon as the to-do list has been created, I decide to ignore it. I really want no part of it, even though it all needs to be done.

  I spend my time wisely, surfing social media. I have to keep tabs on Madison and McKenzie. Fortunately, there is no news on that front. I decide to spend some time on Tumblr, looking at sexy videos. These erotic authors know how to motivate you. An hour passes; it’s time to either to get “off” or quit watching videos. It’s time to get productive. I decide to go through my emails. They consist of the usual bullshit, but going through my emails is considered productive, right? I look forward to new books coming out, discount dining, and receipts for bills I’ve actually paid.

  My inbox is slightly over the four hundred mark, but I don’t let that stop me from completing the task at hand. The first couple hundred go more quickly than expected. It’s easy because all the authors are advertising the same book. My feeling of accomplishment is short lived when I find an email from my mother. What the fuck? Like I don’t have enough on my mind as it is.

  Deleting the email would be the more comfortable option, but I can’t risk having her show up at my apartment. Jodi is like the Energizer bunny that never stops, so it’s best to keep her in check. As I read her email, my blood pressure rises. She is so full of crap, it frustrates me to the ends of the earth. The email consists of “I need,” “I need,” and more fucking “I need.” Ugh.

  Apparently, Kansas City is not working out for them. She is behind on their rent. She wants six hundred dollars. I email her back, requesting information on her landlord and a copy of the lease. Do you know what got me the most in the email? The fact she didn’t ask about me, not one little bit of information. I don’t know why I expect any more of her, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

  Chapter 3

  I take a quick shower, getting ready for this evening. I’m so looking forward to this distraction. Playing cards, drinking wine, flirting with boys—I wouldn’t want it any other way.

  I put on some booty shorts; after all, I need to give Chris something to do with his time. Looking at my ass will keep him distracted while I pull off my big win tonight. I add a tank top and flip-flops
. Comfort is my big focus. I look in the mirror and double check for any hairy locations, concentrating on my armpits and legs. I’m by no means a hipster; I prefer people clean-shaven all over unless you’re a hot bearded man. I pull my hair up into a messy bun, trying to get this wild hair in check. Regan has long, straight blonde hair; my hair is chocolate brown with unruly curls in every direction. I add simple earrings and finish getting ready for my evening out.

  Chris texts me, letting me know that he will be arriving within a ten-minute window. It ’s his way of giving me a heads-up to be ready. Chris is thoughtful and fun, but patience is not one of his strong suits. I sit on the couch going through my phone as I wait for his arrival. Chris honks the horn letting me know he is outside waiting. A lot of women would be offended by it, but I accept it more than willingly. The boundaries are in place for our relationship, no questions needed. We enjoy each other...nothing more.

  I lock up my apartment and head out to meet Chris. I look for the usual vehicle, but it is nowhere to be found. I begin to laugh uncontrollably. Chris is waving to get my attention. You’ve heard the saying “You had me at hello.” His car says hello, all right. Chris is driving a bright yellow Volkswagon Bug with racing stripes. The headlights are shaped like daisies, with a real daisy in the flower holder. As I approach the car, it takes everything I have to stop laughing my ass off. “Chris, I like your new ride. It looks like a girl car trying to get racing power.”

  Chris rolls his eyes at me, trying to save his male dignity. “Jamie, my car is in the shop. I’m driving my mom’s car.”

  That’s all it takes for the crazy laughter to leave my body. A tear even manages to come down my face. I use a few deep-breathing techniques to recover from laughing at his expense. “Chris, I could have picked you up and let you drive my car.” Chris just shakes his head, trying to find some logic in this situation.